Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Can We Give This Oscar Back Now?

I have already questioned the need/purpose of the biopic (read Biopics: Documentaries With Actors?) so I'm not going to address this. Instead, I now question the need for one on Milli Vanilli. Really, Milli Vanilli? This is something that can not be blamed on the rain.
Yes, the vocalists...err...lip synchers of such hits as Girl, You Know It True" and "Blame It On The Rain" and less known for their ill-fated mid-90's return as Rob and Fab are getting a film about their story. Yeah, this will result in something really, really funny like finding out they didn't sing on their own album or the moment the tape containing their vocals continuously skipped during a live show or something really tragic like finding out they didn't sing their own songs and were neither named Milli nor Vanilli. At 10, this was a national tragedy to me. Nevermind the vocals, how could they not be named Milli Vanilli. Van Halen had two members named Van Halen as Bon Jovi had a Bon Jovi (somewhat).

Anyway, I'm moving off the subject and that is that there will be a Milli Vanilli movie. People, this means that the biopic epidemic has spread from legendary artists such as Ray Charles and Johnny Cash to less popular yet influential artists like The Runaways and The Germs to...well, Milli Vanilli. Why? What makes Milli Vanilli so important that, yet, another biopic needs to be made and this time about two models/dancers found in a German nightclub who lip-synch to other vocalists only to come back as Rob and Fab and flop due to the public still thinking of them as a joke? This is not to say that the story would not be and/or is not interesting. It is to say that it was interesting 20 years ago when they were on top of the world as opposed to 20 years later when people my age (give or take a few years) look back and laugh the concept of Milli Vanilli (not the songs though which are still enjoyable despite all we went through at the time).

Despite my complaints, I'll still see this film quicker than any other biopic. Why? A Milli Vanilli film is one step closer to a C+C Music Factory film and what a coinidence, they both involve lip-synching someone else's voice. A Milli Vanilli film can serve as the missing link between all of the CGI heavy films and acting since the concept of both will be needed in this case. CGI for peretending that something is there that really isn't (the singers actually singing and making it look "real") and acting (the models pretending to be singers).  Now, that I've given this whole Milli Vanilli biopic some thought, it does not sound like a bad idea. There are plenty of bad ideas out there and most of them, probably, involve some sort of fabricated truth but none of them can run a loop that just says "girl, you know it's..." until someone stops the tape. With that in mind, welcome back Milli Vanilli. You are the fifth grade reunion I never wanted to have. For this, I'll totally blame it on the rain. That is, unless, Jerry Bruckheimer's name is attached to this.

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