Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Video Graveyard

There have been very few videos that have caused an equal combination of hysterical laughter, embarrassment and confusion. In fact, I can safely say that there is really only one video. "Muscles" by Diana Ross is, without a doubt, the video that makes me loathe and enjoy all there is about 80's music videos. This Michael Jackson (why Jacko, why?) penned hit features Ross dreaming about scantily clad men surrounding her, doing cartwheels on her arm and just existing as 80's eye candy. Somehow, she manages to fly over one guy's body while he features some suburban landscape on top of him. Combine this with the glow of soft lighting and you will find one of the cheesiest videos ever made to the point of calling it laughably atrocious (so...it's like "Physical" with more skin and less mustaches). While I enjoy the camp value of this video, it also makes me embarrassed to have been born in the 80's and early 80's at that. Something tells me that future generations will find this video and think that all men were ripped, all women were surrounded these same men and everything we did was surrounded by a soft, fuzzy glow and smeared in petroleum jelly. Wait, I think that is my life now as I am totally ripped, glowing and half naked on a bed with Diana Ross right now. Even with that joke, I feel embarrassed. "Muscles," you won yet another round.

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